Phil and I have both always been very career focused–even before we met. Being married to someone who is as driven as you can be both awesome and challenging at times. The biggest plus is that you’re getting to chase your dreams with your favorite person by your side and the biggest downside is that sometimes it can be hard to turn off your work and put your relationship first. I’ve always had a demanding schedule working 12-14 hour days on Wall Street (and now on blogging) and Phil’s music career means he’s working at odd hours and often having to travel for work on the weekends. We can rarely tune out work or disconnect and we’ve come to realize that including each other in our career ambitions and the ins and outs of daily work life is the most practical for us. We’ve really been each other’s No. 1 fans and held each other accountable to pursuing our goals. We’ve both switched career paths from finance to more creative ventures…Phil as a musician and me as a blogger. Along the way, we’ve always been open about our goals and shared in our ambitions to help each other accomplish those goals.
Here are a few things that we do to keep each other encouraged:
1. Discuss your weekly goals (and write them down): I think Phil would agree I’m a little better at remembering to write mine down, but we usually start off the week by discussing what we want to accomplish that week. We both try to keep running to-do lists and throughout the week we touch base on our lists and help each other accomplish those goals if we can.
2. Brainstorm ideas on how to help each other succeed: Phil and I are complete opposites when it comes to our strengths in business. He’s much more outgoing and better at pitches and negotiations, while I’m more introverted and better at staying organized and focusing in on the numbers. If we had our own company, he would be the CEO and I’d be the CFO. Although he would probably say I like to act like a CEO because I can be a little bossy at times…uh just a little?! We often lean on each other’s strengths when looking for advice and we’re both pretty good at knowing when we need to ask for each other’s insights.
3. Hold each other accountable: It’s easy to get discouraged or question if your goals are realistic when things don’t seem to go as planned. Having a built-in support system for extra encouragement during those times is so helpful. We try not to be too pushy, but we always remind each other of the goals we’ve set and to stay focused.
4. Celebrate each other’s accomplishments: When one of you lands a promotion, a new deal or just finally checks something off of your to do list that you’ve been struggling to complete – celebrate it! I’m a big believer in celebrating milestones – those are things that you remember in life. The other weekend Phil surprised me in Chicago with huge “100” balloons celebrating me getting to 100K followers on Instagram. It may seem a little silly, but that was one of my goals for myself in 2016 and it meant so much to me that he remembered that.
5. Incorporate your personal life into your goals: It’s rare for your career goals to not impact your personal life too so it’s important to keep that in mind. A major goal for Phil in his career has been to perform internationally more – which means that I tend to travel more too. We tried doing the long distance thing, but being a part for a month at a time was just too hard. To pull off traveling together means we both have to make sacrifices (sometimes I have to miss out on a work event or Phil has to say no to a gig), but in the end we both know it’s better for our marriage. I’m not saying to give up big opportunities, but if there is flexibility, use it when you can.
Phil has been so supportive in my blogging career (he’s my main photographer) so it was fun to do a shoot with him in front of the lens for once. We’re both wearing outfits from the fall collection at Express. Their selection is so good right now! I’m having an obsession with gray denim and this cropped pair are my latest fave. They’re such a great fit and so comfortable! Phil’s participating in the gray trend too wearing this slim moto style.
On Me: Express Lace-Up Mock Neck Sleeveless Sweater (wearing an XS) // Express Gray Cropped Jeans (wearing a 24, fits true to size) // Similar Aviators // Christian Louboutin Heels // Gucci Dionysus Bag
Thanks to Express for sponsoring this post.
Pics by Angela Doherty Photography.